valerie_z: (Default)
( May. 14th, 2010 05:59 pm)
Abby had a seizure at the vet where Mike was going to kennel her until I could take her to the sanctuary next week. The vet suspects brain damage and it's too risky to kennel her. So Mike's having her put to sleep.

You know, the day after we decided to get divorced I was on Craigslist trolling for dick. But I will never love anyone like Abby.
valerie_z: (Default)
( May. 11th, 2010 09:37 am)
A dog rescue place in Maine will take Abby. So she will be okay. I'm so happy!
valerie_z: (Default)
( Sep. 4th, 2009 10:30 pm)
Here's some pictures of my baby.

Abby )
valerie_z: (Default)
( Aug. 24th, 2009 11:39 pm)
So I was randomly Googling Rancid-related stuff, and I ended up at the Urban Dictionary definition for Tim Armstrong. The many definitions include:

"hot guy with lisp"


"tims my hero if i wasnt a dude id screw him i am a dude and id screw him"

God, I love the internet.

Abby (my dog) just let me know that she wanted more food by pushing my rolling chair, while I was in it, until I crashed into a table. At least we have clear ways of communicating.
valerie_z: (Default)
( Aug. 14th, 2009 03:57 pm)
Back from the kennel. Abby was very good in the car. (I played The Transplants, which are her favorite.) When we got there she let everyone pet her and didn't bite them. Then they had me walk Abby to her room, which was actually a room, and not a cage. It had a door, two windows, a bed, and a television. It was nicer than my first dorm room.

Then they took me out to see the backyard, which is a former farm, so it has huge pens for the dogs to play in, and they take them out once an hour. I took her to this, more expensive, kennel because her usual one was booked, but I think I want to switch to this one. Abby doesn't like cages. We'll see how she's acting when I pick her up Monday.

As we were walking from the backyard to the front entrance, we passed the rooms again, and the woman asked me, "So does Abby usually behave well?" I said, "Oh, yeah. She's great." Just then we walked past Abby's room and heard the unmistakable noise of her clawing at the tile floor trying to burrow under the door. My baby.
valerie_z: (Default)
( Aug. 14th, 2009 02:50 pm)
The second comment on The Used's MySpace blog for The Dan & Quinn Fuck Song Remix is me saying I'm sad that the Dan and Quinn Fuck Song is not a song about Dan and Quinn fucking. There was a voice in my head telling me not to write it, but I did anyway, and this is why I'm a bad person.

Abby knows something's up. I gave her a little bit of food, because I don't know when feeding time is at the kennel, but she won't eat it. Now she's just sitting and glaring at me suspiciously. And she was like, "Mommy, why are you putting my food for the next three days in ziploc bags?" Just kidding. She can't speak English. Though her Spanish is really good.
valerie_z: (Default)
( Aug. 14th, 2009 01:33 pm)
Do Not Want to drop off my Abby at the kennel. Who will love me/comfort me/scare away the groundhog who lives under the shed/kick me in the throat when I hug her/jump up in the air and bodyslam me when she wants a cracker/kiss me on the mouth after she eats her own poop/bark at the methheads on the sidewalk/protect me from monsters? I'm going to cryyyyyyyyyyyyy.
valerie_z: (Default)
( Jul. 22nd, 2009 07:24 pm)
Today is my dog Abby's fifth birthday. Don't tell me how old she is in human years. She is five. She is my baby.

Here is me and my baby:

More Abby pictures here.
valerie_z: (Default)
( Jul. 5th, 2009 08:42 pm)
Because Mike and I are classy people, our backyard is a big pile of gravel and a shed, and we use this area for our dog, Abby, to go to the bathroom.

In the beginning of Spring, I noticed that our pile of gravel was sprouting some weeds. I have an aversion to gardening because 1) bugs, 2) dirt, and 3) feminism*. So I figured I'd leave the little sprouts alone, and they would soon be killed off by living in gravel, getting peed on, or the onset of winter.

Then this happened. )

My mother has informed me that most of that is rhubarb. The thing that troubles me is that this rhubarb has grown to Valerie-size proportions with no care, no actual dirt, and while covered in dog pee. Which makes me wonder if they are even really plants at all.

I wanted to post that here so you can laugh, and so that I have "before" pictures, because I'm going to clean it up, bugs, dirt, and feminism* be damned. I will either do it tomorrow or Wednesday. If I don't return, avenge my death.

* While I realize that gardening in and of itself is not intrinsically anti-feminist, it is a traditional woman's role, and my personal brand of feminism includes not falling into traditional women's roles when/if I can help it. Also, Mike already mows the front lawn, so he can do the rest of the stuff while he's out there. Also, I don't give a crap about flowers, except for maybe hyacinths, but just because Oscar Wilde used them as a metaphor for penis in a letter once.
valerie_z: (Default)
( Jun. 25th, 2009 09:59 pm)
Omg, isn't Bert McCracken a big Michael Jackson fan? I'd Twitter Jeph to express my condolences but I've already Twittered him like three times harassing him for tour dates so I think I need to leave that poor boy alone. Also I might be confusing Bert with Gerard.

I think my dog's sick. She wouldn't eat her food at first and then she wouldn't finish it. She's moving really slowly too. I took her on a brief tour of the house and told her where it is and is not acceptable to vomit.
valerie_z: (Default)
( Jun. 20th, 2009 08:54 pm)
Yesterday I was sitting next to my dog Abby (pictures here) when my phone rang, and I swear she did a little head-bop to my ring tone, which is DJ, DJ by The Transplants. So not only can my dog dance, but she has excellent taste in music.

She hates The Used, though. Every time Bert screams she barks at the speakers.
valerie_z: (The crappy town where I'm a hero)
( Mar. 31st, 2008 07:27 am)
I just took Abby out for a morning walk around the neighborhood, and every time I got to a corner, she'd tug in another direction. Eventually she led me the back way to the park. Abby knows geography better than I do. I am so freaked out right now.
valerie_z: (Secret childhood punk rock boyfriend)
( Feb. 17th, 2008 09:35 pm)
Abby (my dog) sleeps with me all night, and then I get up and do stuff during the day, and she sits on the couch and...sleeps. How can she possibly be so tired? Unless, once I fall asleep, she gets up, and plots the revolution under cover of darkness. This is my current theory.

I've been writing lesson plans all day, and I needed a passage to insert intentional spelling errors into so students can correct them. I used part of Malcolm X's autobiography where he talks about educating himself in prison by copying the entire dictionary by hand. This way, for the rest of the semester, if they complain, I can say, "At least you don't have to copy the dictionary!"

Here's one of my favorite Malcolm X quotes:

“If violence is wrong in America, violence is wrong abroad. If it is wrong to be violent defending black women and black children and black babies and black men, then it is wrong for America to draft us, and make us violent abroad in defense of her. And if it is right for America to draft us, and teach us how to be violent in defense of her, then it is right for you and me to do whatever is necessary to defend our own people right here in this country.”

By the way, the next time I see a Malcolm X quote online attributed to Denzel Washington, someone's going to get stabbed.
valerie_z: (Yankees Melky catch at wall)
( Jan. 3rd, 2008 09:43 pm)
My dog is so bad-ass that last weekend she galloped across a tennis court that was completely covered with ice, and then she jumped down a hill to get to the parking lot, which was also covered in ice, and then she ran some more. I started drafting a story about a bad-ass dog that runs on ice and kills vampires, until Mike reminded me that I am supposed to stop writing bad original fiction based on either 1) vampires or 2) homonyms.

Here is my bad-ass baby eating Christmas-shaped rawhide given to her by my mom.

And that's why there are no vampires in Upstate New York.

(More Abby pics.)
valerie_z: (Zoolander Mugatu crazy pills)
( Sep. 21st, 2007 11:57 pm)
Last night I had a dream that my dog Abby gave birth to kittens. There were about twenty tiny black kittens running around my house. And what bothered me the most about this was that I couldn't name the kittens, because it would be impossible to keep track of who was who.

Then this morning when I got out of the shower, Abby was hiding behind the couch, and she peeked over it with her head at an angle where all I could see was her eyes. And for a second she looked exactly like a person. And I flipped the hell out.
valerie_z: (LJ masturbation)
( Sep. 2nd, 2007 12:01 pm)
My dog Abby is really good about not chewing things. We leave her alone in the house all day, and she's never destroyed anything.

She does, however, rearrange things. Mostly she rearranges throw rugs. We have three throw rugs in our bedroom, and every time I arrange them nicely, it only lasts about a day before she picks them up, moves them all into one area, and makes them into a nest where she can sleep. (She has nothing but contempt for her dog bed.) We had some throw rugs in the living room that I eventually put away because she kept moving them. Those she didn't sleep in; she just relocated them. It was like, left to her own devices all day, she decided to redecorate.

But we have a lot of little decorative thingies she's never messed with. I have a bowl full of seashells she could easily choke to death on, and she can reach my table of action figures, but she's never eaten Buffy.

I also have a collection of those Willow Tree angel figurines that my lovely mother bought me, and they're on a table right next to the chair where Abby likes to sit and look out the front window. She's never chewed them up, but sometimes I find them moved slightly or turned around. Lately I've found some of them in the chair or on the floor, but never broken.

Then this morning I noticed this.

pictures )

One of the angels is suspended by a leaf and floating above the chair where Abby sits. Mike and I never go by the front window (most days you have to jump over Mike's amps to get there), so Abby was definitely the last one sitting there.

So either Abby knocked over a little figurine and by some freak accident it got hooked just the right way on a leaf, or Abby is trying to tell me that she is magical.
valerie_z: (River object)
( Jul. 4th, 2007 09:54 pm)
While she was at the kennel last weekend, they discovered that my dog Abby has whip worms. I don't know what a whip worm is, but now I know it costs $400 to kill them. (We have dog health insurance, so I'll get half of that back eventually, but still. Stupid worms.)

Read more... )
valerie_z: (MCR bad man)
( Apr. 30th, 2007 07:00 pm)
Valerie: I bought that My Chemical Romance DVD so I could see how Frank and Gerard talk so I could write slashfic about them. But then I watched it, and they seem like really nice guys, and now I can't do it.

Mike: (to the dog) Awww. Look, Abby. Your Mommy is growing a soul.

Valerie: It sucks.


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