valerie_z: (Default)
( Aug. 2nd, 2009 05:17 pm)
Melky Cabrera just hit for the cycle. This means he got a single, double, triple, and home run all in one game. This is the first time it has happened on the Yankees since 1995.

Hear that faraway rumbling? That is the sound of me bring right in 2005.
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valerie_z: (Default)
( Jun. 28th, 2009 10:36 pm)
I know I said I was done, but I just remembered something. Last night, Melky Cabrera, the greatest baseball player in the history of the world (or, alternately, a decent outfielder when your other outfielders are injured) was chewing tobacco during last night's Yankees game.

So, in the hopes that Melky Cabrera regularly Googles himself, I will now lecture him on this, and then translate it into Spanish very badly.

MELKY CABRERA. You should not be chewing tobacco. It is unhealthy and can lead to disease. You are too beautiful to be diseased. Also you are a role model to many children. You wouldn't want them to think this type of behavior is acceptable. Please stop chewing tobacco. Also, e-mail me. valerie @ valerielewis.net

MELKY CABRERA. Usted no debe estar mascando tabaco. Es poco sano y puede llevar a la enfermedad. Usted es demasiado hermoso estar enfermo. También usted es un modelo a imitar a muchos niños. Usted no los desearía que piensen que este tipo de conducta es aceptable. Pare por favor mascando tabaco. También, me envía por correo electrónico. valerie @ valerielewis.net
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valerie_z: (Default)
( Jun. 5th, 2009 05:40 pm)
Quite simply, right now, in 2009, if you want the Yankees to get a clutch hit, late in the ball game in a close game, you don't want Alex Rodriguez or Mark Teixeira or even Jorge Posada batting. You want the Melkman.

The poster has statistical back-up, and links, and other smart things. So suck it, people who don't think Melky Cabrera is the best thing that has happened since flushable tampon applicators.
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( May. 1st, 2009 10:00 am)
Melky Cabrera delivers again as Yankees rally for 7-4 win over Angels

Everyone who doubted Melky at the beginning of the season, kiss my ass.
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Apr. 22nd, 2009 06:50 pm)
Melky Cabrera just hit a walk-off homerun to win the Yankees game. Hooray Melky!
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Sep. 4th, 2008 07:35 pm)
The question of the day is, between which two slices of bread would you like to be placed in order to make a sexy human sandwich: Alex Rodriguez/Derek Jeter, or Melky Cabrera/Robinson Cano?

Pictures to help you decide )

[Poll #1253892]
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Aug. 15th, 2008 03:52 pm)
Rumor is Melky just got sent to the minors :(
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( May. 17th, 2008 09:01 pm)
In today's game it looked like Melky had his eyebrows waxed.

Even more disturbing, I found it attractive and courageous. Perhaps he can inspire more men to care about their eyebrows. Bert McCracken, I am looking at you.
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Apr. 11th, 2008 07:24 pm)
Tonight Melky is the first batter and Cano is second. Obviously Joe Girardi is arranging his line-up based on who is the prettiest. I approve.
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Mar. 29th, 2008 02:53 pm)
Melky Cabrera is starting in center field! Last season he ended up there because of other people's injuries, but this season it's his spot. I'm so happy I'm going to explode!
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Oct. 8th, 2007 10:43 pm)
Oh, Yankees. You will always be the World Champions of my pants. *hugs*








p.s. Melky, esté desnudo y llámeme &hearts &hearts &hearts
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Oct. 7th, 2007 10:52 pm)
Dear Johnny Damon,

I take back every mean thing I have ever said about you, including the year I spent saying Melky deserved center field more than you, and the many vulgar things I said about you when you were in Boston. Oh, and when I said your book sucked.

Love,
Valerie





p.s. do me Phil Hughes
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky catch at wall)
( Oct. 6th, 2007 12:18 am)
I would just like to point out that the post season thus far is so insane that tonight there was a plague of locusts. What's next? Rivers of blood? Do frogs fall from the sky or am I thinking of an old Buffy fic?




Melky hit a home run. Yay for Melky!
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Aug. 11th, 2007 08:16 pm)
Today is Melky Cabrera's 23rd birthday. Yay! But who is Melky Cabrera? you may be asking. Well, Melky Cabrera is the best baseball player in the history of civilization. Okay, he's not, but he has a good arm and can draw a walk pretty well. AND HE IS THE PRETTIEST.

Come see the pretty! )
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Aug. 3rd, 2007 10:03 pm)
DAMMIT LIVEJOURNAL DO NOT MAKE ME MOVE ALL MY SHIT.



In other news, today Melky Cabrera has stubble, and it is awesome.
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( Jul. 31st, 2007 08:29 pm)
Scott Proctor got traded. *cries* And I was so worried about him breaking up with Kyle Farnsworth because Farnsworth would get traded. It's like they were destined to be torn apart! They're like Romeo and Juliet! Except way hotter.

Ozzie Guillen is a dick. This is not news. He got thrown out of the game for arguing about a check swing. In the first inning. When the score was 0-0. Dick.

Another trade deadline has passed without Melky getting traded. Hooray! Now I don't have to enrich that uranium. j/k fbi
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valerie_z: (Faith 2)
( Jul. 20th, 2007 11:53 pm)
Pictures of Mike and I on our mini-vacation to San Francisco back in April. Yes, April. This shows you how far behind I am in getting my pictures online.

Highlights include Mike reading a religious tract in a diner, our favorite local architecture, and approximately fifteen blurry pictures of Melky Cabrera's ass.

Here's one. )

Coming soon...things I did in May!
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valerie_z: (Yankees Melky smile)
( May. 3rd, 2007 10:14 pm)
I would just like to point out that, during the first game of today's double-header, Melky Cabrera hit very well, and during his last at-bat, he stuck his tongue out playfully, and he was so adorable the Earth almost imploded.

So everyone can kiss my behind.
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I haven't written any fanfic in about a year, mostly because I was working on my Masters in Writing. Oh, the irony. Anyway, I wrote one baseball slash fic about a year ago, but I never posted it because it sucked really bad and I kept thinking I'd go back to it and re-write it, but I never did.

I'm not even posting it in baseball slash communities, because I would be laughed out of the fandom. It's really bad. In it, there are baseball players with Valerie-esque depression, there is guided meditation as foreplay, and there are almost 5,000 words and absolutely no sex. I told you it was bad. Also, the Spanish phrases in this might be bad, since I didn't have Mike proofread my Spanish in this one, since I love him too much to make him read 5,000 words of bad baseball slash. Wife points for me.

So here it is, just for the sake of getting it out of my "In Progress" folder and clearing my fanfic slate for when the My Chemical Romance DVD I ordered gets here and I use it to study Frank's speech patterns and form a story about his pure and beautiful love for Gerard (don't judge me).

Amante de Vampiro Cabra

M.L.B. Fanfic. Jeter/Rodriquez, Jeter/Cabrera. Takes place during some random point in the 2006 season. Vague spoilers for the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Rated PG-13. Implied sex only. Please excuse the suckiness. Really, I am not being modest or fishing for compliments; this marks the dark days of Valerie-writing-fanfic. Other fic I've written in other fandoms can be found here.

Amante de Vampiro Cabra )
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